Day 12

Okay, yesterday was not a good day. I'm wondering if I did these 3 things (meditate, listen to music, and move my body) daily would I be more balanced and happier? The problem with all this is I don't really believe in myself. I don't mean 'believe in myself' as in low self esteem or feeling unworthy, I mean I don't believe that my personality and all that goes with that is who I really am. So is it important for Robert Pherigo's personality to be happy? Do I meditate, move my body, and listen to music to strengthen my personality or do I do these things to help shake up my sense of self and hopefully experience a deeper identity that doesn't depend on how well 'my' life is going? Maybe the answer is both. Moving my body focuses on my physical self. Listening to music focuses on my emotional and mental self. Meditation is focusing on my spiritual self. But all these 'selves' interconnect and mix with one another; without the body I could not express anything, including these words! But having a body without a rich mental and emotional life is something I find hard to imagine and is not something I would want. But it is the spiritual self that, for me, gives it all meaning. The spiritual self meaning the Oneness that all manifestation comes out of. I meditate to go to that inner 'space' of Oneness. So why don't I meditate more? Well, that's one reason I started this blog, to get myself (whatever that means!) to meditate more! I guess I'm trying to do what Ken Wilber suggests: exercise all three bodies: the gross body, the subtle, and the causal. And do the all important shadow work, which for me is "The Work" of Byron Katie.

Well, it's a great idea. Now to action!